I'm Sick and Tired of the Colorado Rockies

This is going to end up being the worst season in Colorado Rockies' history. How convenient that it ended up this way during the "Year of the Fan". Were they serious with this promotion? I'd rather see the "We're Tired of Dan" season, where fans boycott the games until Dan O'Dowd is fired.

What kills me is that the Rockies' General Manager, Dan O'DUD, doesn't understand how to put together a team that is built for Coors Field. What you need are power hitters and power pitchers with a few speedsters mixed into the lineup.

Cargo, who happens to be a 5-tools player, needs to stay in Colorado. Period. Dexter, who brings speed, defense, and a little bit of pop, needs to stay. Rosario needs to go through defensive boot camp during the off-season, and then he can stay. Pacheco, Rutledge and Colvin have had great seasons and deserve starting jobs next season. Tulo, who is only ever worried about himself, and is only ever healthy every other season, needs to go to some team that will hand over top pitching prospects. Every pitcher that can't top 94 on the gun needs to go. I don't believe in the "if you throw hard, you're good", but I do believe that you need pitchers in Colorado who can take advantage of a couple extra MPH on their fastballs and blow it by hitters. Finesse will never consistently work in Colorado. Sorry Jeff Francis, buh bye for good this time! Just ask Mike Hampton and Denny freakin' Neagle how that worked out for them. Well, I guess they got paid millions and millions of dollars to pitch poorly, so I'm sure they'll tell you that it was just "dan"dy in Colorado.

I would make a run for power hitting Mark Reynolds during the off-season. He would benefit from the lack of movement on pitches in Colorado and I'm sure he'd love to see NL West teams more often than AL East teams. Not to mention, the Rockies have games against the AL East teams this year during interleague play, so that's also a familiarity bonus. This is all assuming that the Orioles don't pick up his option, which they probably will because they aren't dumb like the Rockies.

My Hopeful Lineup for Next Year, check it:

SS. Rutledge
CF. Dexter
LF. Cargo
3B. Reynolds
1B. Colvin
RF. Cuddyer (if healthy, and if not then Colvin in RF, Reynolds at 1B, Pacheco at 3B, and then maybe LeMahieu at 2B)
C.  Rosario
2B. Pacheco
P.  Anybody who knows how to pitch and will give at least 160 innings. HAHAHAHA! Wishful thinking, I know.

You might be asking yourself, where's Todd Helton? That's a good question, and I have a good answer. He's on the bench as a dueling Bench Player/Hitting Coach. 2013 is his final contract year, and I don't believe he will take anymore money off of his salary, so might as well get the most out of him in his final year. His time as a starter has obviously come to an end, so why not prep him for coaching duties? Also, while I'm talking about coaches, I think we need to bring Walt Weiss and Vinny Castilla in for managerial interviews. Also, ask Jamie Moyer what he thinks about becoming a pitching coach. I know he's a finesse guy, but he'll be able to teach the power arms how to locate pitches. Oh, and Jason Giambi...bench coach. Boom! And when Juan Pierre retires in the near future, hire him on as first base coach. Bam! Get ex-players in here to coach who know baseball, more specifically, "Baseball with an Altitude".

What to do with Tulo? Send Tulo to his beloved Yankees so he can succeed Derek Jeter like he's always wanted to do.

The guys I want in the Tulo Trade?

David Phelps (RHP)
Jose Campos (RHP)
Nik Turley (LHP)
Dante Bichette Jr (3B) (For nostalgia sake)
Jordan Cote (RHP)
And any spare cash that the Yankees might have...

I know this is all falling on deaf ears, because the Monforts will continue to pocket money, and fans will continue to go to games, and their giveaways will continue to be lousy coupons to get haircuts, and Dan O'dowd will continue to be considered the greatest GM in baseball, and Jim Tracy will continue to manage with more losing seasons than winning seasons, and Troy Tulowitzki will continue to call this "his team" and play for half the season, and Cargo will most likely be traded for a couple of soft-throwing lefties, and Todd Helton will start at first base because of loyalty, and the Giants, Dodgers, D-Backs, and Padres will continue to bolster their teams, and so on and so forth until the Rockies can finally break the century mark in losses for a season...assuming it doesn't happen this season.

There, that's a rant. Not sure if any of it makes sense, but I needed to just get it all out there after this season. Let me know what you think in the comments section below.


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